Yes my friends it is official Kyler and I are going to have
a sweet baby boy! I am going to
have a son! ( It seems so crazy to even write that!)
Yesterday I was having some minor complications so under
the direction of my sweet
Madre I called the doctors office and they advised me to come
in. My last visit was eight days before hand so I felt really
dumb going in so soon.
To make matters worse I told Kyler not to worry about going with
me and that I would simply pick him up after work.
I walked in
the doctors confident that none of my concerns would be
validated and that I would be going home afterwords to
enjoy my evening feeling reassured that everything was okay.
I Knew I was being silly for overreacting over minor things.
But my motto in life has always been that I would rather
be "safe then sorry" especially when it comes to well being
of my baby!
But things did not go exactly as planned! When the doctor came in for some reason I
was so embarrassed to tell him my concerns and I could tell I was turning approximately
ten shades of red. I wished that Kyler was there and that my
doctor was older then 40!
It was so weird how flustered I became, and I am mad at
myself that I reacted that
way......... hello, he is a doctor. but it felt like I was
telling a random man in my ward what
I was "experiencing."
Any way after I embarrassed myself and was feeling pretty
dumb he had me hop on the table
while he pulled out his little Doubler to here my baby heart beat.
I directed him to where it
was just last week excited that I would be able to here the heart beat once again......
but after what seemed like an eternity of searching there was nothing......
the doctor looked at me and said "I can't find a heart beat."
I felt numb.
He then checked my cervix all the while he and
the friendly nurse were making small talk
with me. I was telling myself to breath and was trying to ignore
the obvious concern on
their faces! The doctor checked my cervix and could not tell
if it was just tilted or opening...
and then said "this isn't good" my heart just dropped.
But I was determined to keep my composure.
They called the hospital and decided to do an
"emergency ultrasound" I left the doctors office
with an ultra sound request sheet that simply stated
"no fetal heart tones."
I picked Kyler up from work and slipped into the passenger seat
while he hopped in.....
I handed him the paper and started sobbing uncontrollably.
All it said was not fetal heart tones.
This was not how my day was supposed to go. I kept on
thinking this could not be happening to us! Kyler and I have
come to far emotionally in this
pregnancy for anything bad to happen! I felt so angry at myself
for not calling the doctors sooner and telling them
about all the pain I was in at night.....I could see concern
written all over Kyler face as he rushed down the street to
the hospital.
Kyler told me he would be devastated if anything happened.
we both already loved our baby.
While we were sitting in the waiting room I suddenly felt
so calm and at peace! I whispered to
Kyler we are going to find out what we are having! I felt
like all would be well. I watched Kyler as his shoulders
just lifted then fell.
Right then we looked up to see a young pretty girl call out
"Johnsons" we hopped to our feet
as we followed the nurse technician into the room, she couldn't
have been much older then I am.
In an instant she said the seven words that Kyler and I wanted
to here so badly "everything fine there is definitely a
heartbeat." I felt like I could finally catch my breath.I
immediately glanced in Kyler directions and saw the concern in
his eyes turn to relief and excitement.
My heart felt so full, I felt so much gratitude
to our Heavenly Father! As I offered up a silent pray.
I suddenly remembered telling Kyler what my "birthday wish"
was this year. I told him more then anything I wanted to find
out what we were having before or on my birthday!! We both
knew that wasn't a possibility since on my birthday I would
only be 17 weeks (normally you do not find out until at least
20 weeks and I am currently only 16 weeks). But that was my
secret or not so secret wish.
I suddenly became really excited with the possibility of
"finding out" what we were having.
(after the nurse yet again reassured us that everything looked perfect)
I then asked her "can you tell us what we are having?"
she sighed and said she would surely try. she zoomed in
and in a second it became
clear to all of us in the room what HE was. she said in an
excited voice"How about a boy, mama!!"
When Kyler and I got home I asked him how he felt and he
just said "relieved" I asked him if it was because everything
was okay or because we were having a boy? he just smiled that
beautiful smile of his.
I went to bed last night with a heart full of gratitude knowing
that my little guy was okay and at least for tonight all is well.
I felt so thankful to our Heavenly Father for allowing
my Birthday wish to come true.
Finding out my baby gender really is not a huge deal in the
scheme of things but to me it was super important.
Heavenly Father....
is so aware of our needs and the desires of our hearts! to me
that is beautiful....
the ultra sound technician said she has never had a baby cooperate so well during
their photo shoot. Kyler and I were so proud ; ) Kyler took some of the pictures
to hang up in his office....I think I know what type of parents we will be : )
He was sucking his thumb but every time he did I would start laughing and
he would move his little arm so we didn't ever get a picture of it.
He is only 6 oz.......Yet I have packed on ten pounds.....mmmm.....strange I know haha
His little foot is exactly an inch long!
