In the words of my Doctor

I had a very hard time finding an OB this time around. I finally settled on a doctor that specialized in high risk pregnancies..... but since I have been blessed with a great pregnancy it was mostly because he was close to my house and I knew the visits would be short and sweet....none of the waiting an hour and half with a busy toddler sort of business...

You shouldn't categorize people....but if I did categorize my doctor he would be in the super nice but super odd category.....He is constantly saying pre-planned jokes (I am confident I am not the first patient that he showed a sonogram photo of the babies brain and said "now you will have proof when she is 16!" too) His lack of smiling and monotone voice makes it hard to know when he is in fact telling a joke....:) There has been one to many times of me giving him a good what I think to be a "sympathy laugh" and him returning the favor with a puzzled expression....I guess he wasn't trying to be humorous....he really does think I would benefit from getting more exercise....

At my 32 week visit he asked me to lay down and began to measure my little lady. As I laid there I thought of all the questions I had mentally compiled and was itching to be answered.

Doctor: "How old is your son?"

Me: "Almost two!" I say in a can you believe how big is is getting tone of voice.

Doctor: "Do you want to know how he is going to feel when you bring this new baby home?"

Me: Thinking not really but answer with a hesitant "Sure!"

Doctor: insert monotone voice "Picture your husband coming home from work and saying Honey, I am bringing on a new wife! She is younger and cuter than you and I want you to make her feel at home. We are going to be one big happy family!!...... How does that make you feel?"

Me: " umm... worse than I already did!"Dumbfounded and suddenly not able to remember any of the questions I so desperately wanted answered just moments before....

Doctor: "Don't worry to much about it! Your baby has a 100% survival rate if she was born today so there isn't anything you can do!" Then he proceeds to make friendly small talk.

What the heck!!

Fast forward to The Husband getting home that evening....and me questioning him on how old is new fictional wife would be...and what did the doctor mean by "younger and cuter??" Did he not see my cute little chipmunk cheeks...HA. The Husband said I was reading too much into that little scenario...annnnnd she would probably be 21...haha...shallow

I am confident that Jett having a little sister will be an adjustment but the night before last as I watched him spoon feed his sisters little penguin all the things on his dinner plate he didn't care for.... A reassuring feeling washed over me and I knew that everything would be okay....and we would in fact be "one big happy family!" 

It was just the cherry on top!

A baby shower was held in honor of me  my sweet little lady!( because baby showers are for the babies right??) It was perfection at its best laced with sweetness! I was so touched with all the details my Madre and Candi did on my her behalf. And of course all those that celebrated with us. Thank You so so much!

I wish I would have documented every single detail but lets just say that poka dot balloons, chicken noodle and cheese broccoli soup definitely were in attendance at this lovely event!  After the cupcakes were carefully placed on the cake stand I walked back into the dining area only to discover every cherry on top... missing.....

We have yet to find the stems...

 Having my Madre at my house for an entire week was nothing short of a dream....I always  leave my dishes in the sink (shameful I know) with a surety that they will still be waiting for me In the morning....But much to my delight and surprise I would wake up to a clean kitchen smiling back at me every single morning!! This phenomenon hasn't reoccurred since my Madre left! Her and Candi worked their little tail feathers off while I sat back having one of the best weeks of my life (except for going to the hospital twice to have my little lady checked out....turns out I am a pretty prideful person... so some serious pride swallowing was in order before those hospital visits took place ;) After a week like that it is pretty hard not to have a little case of post "party" depression!!

It was truly a lovely day! 

I am counting the seconds until I get to meet her! 

Not only am I prideful, turns out  lack of patience is another vice of mine :)

xoxoxo

Love Cate

creating beautiful things...

Last week (thanks to my older sister Ginny) I had the opportunity to attend a 3 day photography retreat taught by the lovely Nicole V. It was nothing short of incredible! I would come home at night with my head spinning with all the information I now had at my finger tips! I loved every second of it! 

I have been recklessly flirting with the idea of starting my own photography company for a few years now, but have yet to really do more than get my toes wet. I am getting closer to completely diving in! More details soon. 

So why have I waited until now to pursue my passion? In college I took two very basic photography classes and was told by both professors that I didn't seem to quite have what it would take. Never one to argue with  a professor, I believed them.....luckily that same older sister convinced me to pick up my camera again after I swore I would never hear the click from that shutter again....A darling little boy and wanting better photos for my blog definitely put fire to her encouragement! Like always my next biggest obstacle would be myself.

I have had a crippling fear of creating.....why? Because I  have always known with a certainty that  if my ideas were to be placed in someone else gifted hands the results would be nearly flawless. I live in fear of what a project could have been.... For so long I have been  frustrated with the seemingly large gap between my ideas and the actual execution of those "great" ideas. 

It feels invigorating to admit that out loud.

I can't help but go back to my sophomore year of high school sitting in the passenger seat of my Madre car, plagued with extremely low self esteem. I sobbed as I told her that I felt like I would never be pretty, smart or simply good enough......to ever deserve to be loved (poor dramatic 16 year old me ;) First off I am sorry Madre! How horrible it must have been to have your daughter think so poorly of herself? I will never forget what she said to me " you will always find someone that you find prettier and smarter than you, but that doesn't make you ANY less pretty or smart!" If only the boys in my high school could have seen me the way my Madre and Grandma did..HA. She talked about not comparing ourselves because we will never feel like we quite match up. She planted in me the desire to become the very best version of myself. Again I feel a huge gap between the idea and execution.....but the desire is still there...

check out the lovely models from the retreat!

I decided that these hands of mine are capable of making beautiful things. Imperfect and all. Who am I to deprive the world of that? ;) Who am I not to see exactly what I am capable of, even with the very real chance of failing from time to time......some how failure seems far less heartbreaking than the alternative of..... never knowing. 

Sorry this post ended up being a lot longer and deeper then I had anticipated but we will just roll with it...

Have a Happy Wednesday! 

p.s. I have some exciting news! My little Misters birth story was published on A Birth Story Blog and on the website Spearmint Baby!!

I am linking up with things you can't say

liar, liar pants on fire!

Sometimes I have so much to share that I get completely overwhelmed and don't share anything at all...Lets start with my hair....

3 years ago I cut butchered  my own hair. I pinky promised and swore up and down to the Husband that  I would put away the scissors and never pull them out again (with the exception of justifying that my bangs weren't part of my hair....made sense to me:) 

I was always told that nothing good happens after 11:00 p.m.....I think there is some truth to that! I decided my bangs needed a little love....then I started thinking about layers.....would they make my ever rounding face look more angular?? NOPE. I started hacking...I couldn't stop...I started panicking! 3 years of hard work now was laying in my sink....My hair grows painfully slow...I immediately hid the "evidence" and put back my hair the best I could....

The Husband walks in. My heart is thumping out of my chest....He comments how he hates when I cut my own bangs....Then I take down my hair.....

His words "Not even sure what to say". and he goes to bed. Ouch.

He informed me the next morning that I had 3 huge chunks missing out of the back. I told him that as long as I couldn't see them I was ok (insert a double thumbs up from me and an eyebrow raise from him.)

It is always a humbling experience to walk in a salon as a grown women and tell them you got into the scissors...I told the nice lady I would really like to avoid the "graduation haircut" 
With all the stacks in back. It looked cute on Candi and I back in 1993 and I loved it in college.....but at 8 months pregnant "cute" was not what I was looking for.

They handed me the mirror. Yep. Another graduation haircut.....I looked so dang cute I felt like crying...(.my beautician did a wonderful job with what she had to work with :) I still question why it always seems like a good idea to them to curl my bangs???

The Husband picks me up and smiles at me. I caress what is left of my locks and determine it will be a good six months before I can put that baby back in my signature ponytail. The only thing I have been sure about this pregnancy was when I am in labor I was going to pull my hair up in a top knot.....Now I would be sporting a haircut that would look cute on a 12 year old or a mother of 12...

Just then a man, yes a man walks out with the most beautiful long silky hair...mine was never that long and definitely not that silky...so why I start crying I am not sure...enviouse I suppose....the Husband puts a comforting hand on my knee and said "did we learn our lesson?" Haha....not a good time for him to say that.

I told him I wanted that mans hair....He asked me why when I had Justin Biebers hair cut....He gently squeezed my knee and said "does someone have Biber fever?"

lesson learned: Being spontaneous is a good thing, being impulsive is not!