When I grow gray, old and it is my time to say goodbye please say that I will be remember for my intentions and not for what I never did..because that is just a technicality... I really have intentions of the very best kind! Like making cooking dough the night before an event, to feel prepared, to let them caramelize into the chocolate morsels
of heaven they would have been....I gave myself a pat on the back and a "Heck YA."
for being so prepared (my recipe of choice;)
The oven is preheated, the magic is ready to happen...annnndd I completely shattered the bowl containing the good stuff. With no time or chocolate chips to spare...
The audience in my kitchens face fell with defeat as the shards of glass pierced such a delectable treat (rhyme of rap...depending on how you read it HA!) So I took a deep breath bent down and starting sweeping it up.....and had The Husband call his Aunt and tell her I suddenly wasn't feeling well....because I suddenly wasn't....darn.
Or spending a week at home in Oregon with my DSLR never leaving my hand. Thrilled with the memories that were painsakenly (heavy camera;) being documented. My children meeting some of their Aunties for the very first time and the little Misters face as his older cousins chanted in name in unison when it was his turn to fly down the water slide!
And accidently and completely swiping the card containing those irreplaceable memories. When I realized that I lost my whole week in photos I slid off the bed and sobbed.
And ran into the bathroom dry heaving.
Maybe someday I will handle disappointment less dramatically?
A few months ago I took Jett and Wynnie to the park. Jett naturally was carrying around 4 large stuffed animals and was wearing footsie pajamas with sandals. I had Wynnie in my front pack and crawled around trying to
capture my beautiful son doing what he does best, playing.
It was hard work, I was drenched in sweat, Wynnie was screaming...
but the images made it so worth it
I went to edit the photos last night and realized they were all gone.
All except for one photo. WHAT?? WHY!?? what the heck... but I didn't say heck.
I hope when my children grow up and think about me they will think
"Our Mama really, really tried!"
I would love if my children would call me "Mama."
But the Mister yelling MOM with a touch of annoyance in his voice works too!
I really have the best of intentions, the executions is a little rusty!
I really have the best of intentions, the executions is a little rusty!
i think you underestimate how many of us are actually just like you, if not worse! you are a good woman! i would have just eaten the cookie dough before it had time to set!
ReplyDeleteOh dear! And I think your reaction to those lost photos was just right - I've done the same, and was still teary eyed about it a week later (in fact, I'm STILL mad about all that effort and all of those cute shots, gone, gone in just an accidental click - arg!)! The good thing is, your children are BEAUTIFUL, and you can take more pictures of them before they grow up into camera-shy teenagers - quick, go! ;) x
ReplyDeleteOH, losing pictures makes me cry too!!
ReplyDeleteThankfully, we are all very very similar in this failure department, I think. We try our best, and yet still sometimes fail. Human is another word for it, I think :)
Your sweet babies will know that you tried your best, because, goodness, you love them. It is so obvious, and they will know. Hugs to you, friend!! xoxo